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In no way have I not always loved Everett, but I recently developed a different, even better relationship with him. You see, his life (to me) has been a series of milestones. Ounces, weight gain/loss, surgery, recovery, gas therapy, speech therapy, NAM. I mean the list goes on and on. The point is that I have always loved him, but never learned to really enjoy - I mean that total lovable enjoy him.
Most of it is my own fault too. I hate to admit it, but I have just been muscling through everything with (in the back of my mind) the thought that as soon as he accomplishes, or passes the next milestone things will be better - and by better, he will be happier. The problem with that, was that I didn't take the time to honestly cherish and enjoy every second he was happy, because he was - a lot probably.
A couple of weeks ago all of the sudden Everett was bigger. He has grown up, which all babies do and which I have wanted with him more than any of my babies - so that he would be happier. It has happened. I am thrilled, but just can't help feeling bad that I am just barely starting to get really excited to see him first thing in the morning so I can see his face beam when he sees me. I can't get enough of his slobbery kisses. I can't stop tickling him just to see his excitement and try to make him giggle. I just can't get enough of him! I kinda missed a lot of time with Everett it seems.
Taking care of Everett has been a lot of work at times, but we are so so so blessed to have Everett in our family - and I would do it a hundred times again for him. He is our little (but seriously big) miracle and I hope I don't miss any more of his journey worrying about the amount of ounces he has eaten during the day.
