We Are Alive!

Hello blogger-world. In an effort to avoid anymore hate mail or phone calls with questions about our family, I will try to start updating more often.

Since my last post (April 8) a few things have happened.

I found out I was pregnant - and was pretty sure I was dying. Hence the disappearance for several weeks (justified - right?).

Shortly thereafter we decided 600 square feet wasn't enough room to raise three kids in. So, we had two choices: Find another place in CT (most likely around 1200 square feet) and pay double the rent we were already paying, or move to another (much more affordable) state. The much more affordable state is not hard to find, but we had to find one with Aaron's group there too. That left Chicago, IL or San Francisco, CA - I think we all know which one is cheaper!

So, Aaron promptly put in for a transfer and his group was obliged to accommodate us. I don't think they will ever be happy to see Aaron leave!

Then, we went on our family vacation to Utah! We had so much fun there with everyone and were able to see two new nieces and all our family. Oh, and while there I finally finished throwing up!!

During our vacation, Aaron and I took a little house hunting trip to Chicago. We had already decided we wanted to live in the city of Naperville, so at least that part was easy. It was stressful and emotional (for me at least). After looking at tons of houses - (I know can you believe we were looking at houses) I had it narrowed to two and Aaron still did not feel good about buying yet. So, I gladly (ha, ha) let him pick a rental house and decided we would give it a year to find our dream place.

In hind sight, what a blessing it was that Aaron didn't just capitulate to what I wanted (he usually never does - for good reason). A week after we got back and in the midst of frantically packing, I had my 18 week ultrasound - yay, I love to see the baby and find out what we are having. I didn't even think to ask Aaron if he wanted to come to it with me. After all, this is our third and we already have a boy and a girl - what could he really want to see?
That morning though, Aaron was running a little late and then told me that he wanted to come to the ultrasound with me. I already had a sitter for the kids, so I thought this could be a nice moment for us with our newest member.

Boy am I grateful for Aaron listening to that little voice.

Since we have had a couple of these ultrasounds before, we noticed when the technician finished all of the measurements and then asked us to wait a moment so she could grab the doctor. She still couldn't tell what the baby was, and I guess I just figured she needed some help. When she returned with the Maternal Fetal doctor, the doctor gave us the news.

She said they see what appears to be a cleft lip and possible cleft palate on the baby. Of course, from those heart wrenching adds on t.v. I knew what a cleft lip was, but didn't really understand the palate. She assured us that everything else looked beautiful and 100% normal. At that point, I was really okay with the diagnosis - I thought that surgeons are amazing and the baby will be fine. She suggested though, that they do an amniocentesis to rule out any chromosomal abnormalities and verify the sex of the baby. She also, despite our fast approaching move wanted me to go down to Columbia Medical Center to have follow-up ultrasounds and meet with other surgeons and specialists.

I was a little overwhelmed and the only thing going through my mind was that I can't move now - I have all my friends with me already and now I have to go to a new place with all of this? I really thought we made the wrong choice in moving and tried to talk Aaron into staying, but he didn't think we should.

I went in a few days later and had the amniocentesis done. They called a few days later to rule out the possibilities of Down Syndrome, and Trisomy 13 or 18 (I don't even know what those are). Also to tell us that we are expecting a new little Boy!!! Everett ______ Cowan.

The ultrasound down at Columbia confirmed that the cleft lip was only on the right side and that there was also a significant cleft palate. They also assured me that The University of Chicago Medical Center is a very good place to go as well. So, they put me in touch with them making for a smooth transition.

The rest of our time in Connecticut was kind of a blur besides all of our friends showing us so much kindness, support and love. I hate leaving friends! Anyway, we had a nice (seriously) two day drive out to our new home and were met by my Mom, my Sister and her family then also Aaron's Mom a few days later. We really could not have moved in without them - Thank You!!!

While they were here we found out some more information about our sweet Everett's chromosomes. There are some differences, but just to clear the air - at this point the only things we know for sure are that he has the clefts on his lips (they found another one on his left side) and his cleft palate. Even though there are questions surrounding his mental well being (due to his chromosomes), they cannot find anything with concrete evidence of brain abnormalities. He has had two echo cardiograms done, and his heart looks and continues to look perfect.

It looks like he is kind of a medical mystery at this point (at least the chromosomes) and that is why the brain comes up frequently. There will be a team of specialists at his birth so that no matter what, he will be in good hands. It is interesting to hear the doctors talk about their concerns and the unknows surrounding our little boy - but yet feel so assured that Heavenly Father knows exactly who He is sending us, loves Him and has a divine purpose for Him.

Just so you know, we are not sad. Please don't feel bad for us, because we don't feel bad for ourselves. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated and needed, so thank you for those. To be quite honest I have felt very differently about this baby from the time I found out I was pregnant (which was a shock and miracle). Aaron and I have a strong belief that Everett is coming to our family for a reason and will continue to be a blessing to our family. We have felt a special closeness between us and Dominick and Kambree and have never once felt bad for ourselves or asked "why". I have felt very comforted through this whole experience also, and the one thing I have struggled with since Kambree's birth - anxiety has almost been non-existent. It is amazing the blessings that come in the midst of trials. I feel like I have been made stronger emotionally, physically and mentally when usually I fall apart in hard circumstances.

I still do feel anxious and inadequately prepared to take care of a baby with such needs, but most of the time I find myself feeling blessed and almost lucky to experience and raise a sweet spirit like this. I feel an extra push to live as Christlike as possible so that no matter what happens here on earth, our family will all be together forever in Eternity.

For all of you who didn't already know about this, please know that I wasn't trying to keep it secret, nor was I embarrassed in some way to tell you. The last couple of months have been a whirlwind of information and new beginnings for us and I just have not had time to call people or obviously even blog about this. I am sorry if you felt a little in the dark- now you know!

Dominick and Kambree are so excited it is crazy. I had to tell them very early on about expecting a baby (because we all thought I was dying on the couch or in the bathroom). And we told them he would be coming on Christmas - of course they ask every week and sometimes daily when it will start snowing so Christmas will be here. Kambree and Dominick both sing Christmas songs now and you should have seen the look on Dominick's face when he saw the leaves starting to fall off the trees - he told Kambree that Fall time is here and Christmas is next! I felt so bad when he looked out the window the next morning and was shocked there wasn't any snow.

Kambree tells us all the time she is going to ask Santa for baby Everett for Christmas.

And so.......

That is the story on our little baby boy. We are grateful and humbled to welcome him into our family and home.

I do not want you to think we don't go on living though. Since our move, Dominick realized the freedom of a neighborhood (filled almost entirely with boys ranging from 3 up to 12), a backyard, riding a bike with no training wheels and a neighborhood pool three doors down. We lost him a few times in the first week and found him following the boys all over the place. He does now understand the meaning of telling me where he is going, but we still occasionally find him in neighbors yards, garages (rummaging through old toys) or on his way to his school play ground. He started 1st grade and loves it. He has the best teacher in the school (so I hear) and is making lots of friends. It is amazing to see how fast he is learning and growing. He reads just about everything in sight and loves to draw pictures, design and build boats/rockets/houses/cars or anything out of legos and play outside and never want to come in (seriously - this whole freedom of the outside is causing its own set of new problems, called attitude). He turned 6 in Utah and had an amazing Amtrak Party with all of his cousins. His favorite gift was his first fishing pole and tackle box from Grandpa Roundy - I just wish it would have come equipped with Grandpa always being there to take him! He loves it, even though after 2 minutes of fishing he just wants to throw rocks in the water.

Kambree has grown like crazy too. She is my little copy cat. Anything I say to Dominick she feels like she needs to repeat it (in the same tone). It has been hard for her to understand that she is not the Mom. Even though the neighborhood is filled with boys, she is right in the middle of it. She has a few little friends who are not in school yet that she can play with during the day. It was hard for her to learn that she wasn't going to preschool this year and she still wears her backpack to school every morning too. She did however just start ballet and gymnastics. These are the very very beginner classes, but I couldn't help but deck her out it full ballet attire. She was beaming when she went to her first class in her new leotard, tights, tutu and ballet shoes! She is also the best little student/teacher's pet in both classes. For being the youngest by far, she is the most attentive little girl and watches the teacher so that she can do exactly what she is doing - it is so darn cute! She also practices at home which is so funny, because Dominick will start to do the moves too - at which point Kambree loudly tells him that "boy's don't do ballet!" So there. She tells me everyday what she is going to teach or show Everett when he comes out and is so concerned that we don't have blankets in his crib yet or a car seat for him in the car yet. She's going to be the biggest helper! Kambree will be three next Tuesday but has already gotten her big gift - a new bike. She rides it like a pro too! I can't believe what a difference it makes for the kids to see other kids doing things. I also can't wait to give her (and Dominick too) her other gift. We got them a karaoke machine with two microphones. Dominick and Kambree both love to sing and perform, so this was perfect. It plugs into the t.v., so they can even watch themselves in action. I really think I nailed it this time!!

Aaron also just turned 30!!! He is still as sharp as ever, I am so impressed! We will celebrate that later, seeing as this weekend is Kambree's party. Work is going very well for him, though. He has about the same commute time and has been able to be home in the evenings with the kids. I won't say he loves it, because I think once you have worked in NYC there is nothing that compares. But, as he says the "second city" is pretty good. I will also agree with him that the trains in NY by far trump the system out here, unfortunately. Don't tell Dominick though, because he has assured us that these are the best trains in any city.

Anyway, all of the pictures are just a little of what we have been up to in the past oh, let's see 5 or 6 months!!

We miss all of our friends and family so much and would love to hear from you!!!